Kiss for the Grave
by Captain Luludee
Summary: Kratos pays a visit to Anna's grave and memories of her life begin to surface, along with emotions he'd forgotten he could feel. Short & Sweet Oneshot. Contains spoilers.


_A/N: It occurs to me that this scenario may have been done before, but oh well, I couldn't get this out of my head. It's very short but sweet and sad. Would take place not long after Kratos is first introduced. Hope you enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia._

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A soft wind rustled the leaves of the trees, creating a gentle melody. The only other sound that could be heard on this warm tranquil day was the sound of light, slow footsteps. Leaves and twigs crunched under the feet of a man as he walked along a short dirt path. The path ended in a small circle of wildflowers growing around a solitary headstone. A ray of sun illuminated the headstone in such a way that it resembled a spotlight. A butterfly perched itself on the stone for only a moment. When the footsteps ceased in front of the grave, it flew away, fluttering it's wings in a fury. 

Kratos Aurion stared down at the headstone in wonderment. He could hardly believe what he saw with his own eyes. The name on the stone sent a warm shiver down his spine. It was a name he thought, now, only existed in his memory. The name of the woman he had loved and so tragically lost. A name he had not spoken for what seemed like an eternity, as sacred and precious as it was to him. He breathed that name now, in a whisper.

"Anna."

Seeing the grave with her name written upon the cold stone only confirmed the suspicion that had recently come to him in the form of a young man. Kratos could scarcely breathe. It was overwhelming to know that everything he had lost was now found, and he had lived for so many years in utter agony, believing his son was dead. But Lloyd was not dead at all, he was alive. The many thoughts in Kratos' mind jumbled together in unending knots that seemed impossible to sort out. He could do nothing more than stare down at Anna's grave, eyes wide, mouth agape.

"Anna," he whispered again.

Here lay his beautiful Anna, the only woman in the world he had every loved so wildly, so truly, so wholly. Painfully, he remembered everything about her. The way she used to smell like a sultry, intoxicating flower. The feeling of her soft curls against his own rough skin. How her hands fit so perfectly in his own, and how good it felt when he wrapped his arms around her slim figure. He remembered how beautiful her eyes could be during their most intimate moments, and how she loved to touch his lips with her fingers. He saw her, felt her, and breathed her as if she was standing right in front of him. He supposed, in a way, she was.

"Anna," he whispered a third time, kneeling down in front of her grave. A few scattered rocks scrapped his knees, but he felt nothing outside of the deep, harrowing pain her memory always caused in him.

"Anna. I-I never thought I would . . . find you, like this. This is all so . . . unbelievable. I . . . I miss you. I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did. I couldn't protect you, I couldn't . . . If you had never met me, things could have been so different. Look what I've done to you. I never should have . . ."

Kratos clenched his jaw tightly, not knowing how to finish. He breathed heavily and grasped his legs in and effort to control his emotions.

"Do you know . . . what hurts the most?" Kratos continued with difficulty, "Every time I think about . . . what we could have been. I think about it all the time. You, me, Lloyd. We were robbed of so much happiness, Anna. Living has been worse than hell . . . knowing that a woman with so much life and spirit wasn't allowed to. _You_ deserved to live, Anna, not me. Not a day goes by when I don't wish it had been me. I'll never know why I lived and you . . . died."

The word was still difficult for Kratos to say, no matter how many years had gone by. His lips began to quiver, but he quickly tightened them.

Memories once again began to flood his mind; memories which Kratos had been trying in vain to erase. Anna, being transformed into a monster. He heard those screams which had gripped him with such an immeasurable fear, along with Lloyd's heart-rending cries. He remembered how he had called Anna's name so desperately, in a voice he hardly recognized as his own, begging her to return to herself. And when she finally had, her pitiful urges for Kratos to kill her. She must have known then what she was capable of doing.

Kratos squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut out the rest of the memory, but despite his best efforts, it came. He saw his love turn on her own son in his mind's eye. He heard the sickening sound made by his blade as it cut through her flesh. Just remembering it, Kratos couldn't breathe. His memory of that fateful day continued to play in him mind as he saw Anna fall off the cliff, taking their son with her. Kratos felt the unimaginable pain and complete devastation anew. His body ached with the longing to forget that horrible day. Kratos knew, however, that it would always be there to haunt him. It was the unending nightmare that would always be at the back of his mind.

"Why?" Kratos asked the headstone, "Why did this have to happen to us?"

Kratos sighed and hung his head.

"I don't suppose I'll ever know the answer to that question, will I? There's so much that I'll never know. Why our time together was so short. Why you came into my life, and gave me the part of myself I had been missing for four thousand years, only to be taken away from me. Why I was forced to kill you with my own hands. Why . . . Why I'll never be able to hold you again . . . just hold you. Those are questions I ask myself everyday, Anna. You don't know what I've been through. I'm nothing without you. I'm so tired of living like this. I'm so tired of being sorry."

Kratos closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the rustling leaves. Being in front of Anna's grave brought back all the things he had been trying to suppress for so many years. He had succeeded in shutting his emotions off completely. He had become an impenetrable shell that nothing could get through. It was the only way he knew how to get through. But now, for the first time in a very long time, that shell had been shattered, ironically, by the very thing that had created it in the first place.

"Anna," he whispered once more, gripping the top of the headstone with both hands, "What am I to do now?"

As soon as he had asked the question, it was if Anna's answer resounded in his head. He could hear her voice saying the words.

_Protect our son._

Kratos stared blankly at the stone with immediate understanding. Of course, his son was still alive. Kratos knew that he could not expect Lloyd to believe that he was his father. He did not even know how to find the words to tell him. Lloyd was happy, and Kratos didn't want to ruin that with confusion. He could, however, take care of his son without Lloyd having to know the truth. In fact, it was his obligation.

Kratos knew that such a thing would be difficult, considering he was currently acting as an agent of Cruxis, the very organization that Lloyd would undoubtedly discover to be his enemy. Kratos would have to make sure that his son had nothing to do with the journey of regeneration. It was the only way. And after? After everything was over and done, Kratos would have to find a way to watch over his son silently.

"I _will_ protect our son, Anna . . . I promise you I will. I don't know how yet, but I will. I will succeed with him where I failed with you."

Kratos shut his eye quickly as yet another memory surfaced. It had happened not long before Anna's death. Anna held Lloyd in her arms, he was asleep. Kratos stood over the both of them, admiring his family.

"He's so helpless," Anna had said, her voice wavering. "Kratos, I'm scared. What if . . . what if-"

"Don't think like that, Anna," Kratos replied sternly, kneeling down beside her.

"I can't help it. If anything ever happened to Lloyd . . . I don't know what I'd do. Kratos, sometimes I think it would have been better if . . ." her voice trailed off, but her thoughts were clear.

"If we had never met?" Kratos finished her sentence. It hurt him to hear such a thing coming from her. He stood up and walked away slowly.

Anna put the sleeping Lloyd in his crib and followed Kratos. She stood behind him and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his back. Kratos placed a hand over her arm.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Anna apologized.

"I know," Kratos softly replied.

"Despite . . . everything, I _am_ happy. I love you, Kratos, you saved me, you've loved more than anyone ever has. And you have given me a beautiful baby boy that we would both die for. What more could I ever want?"

Kratos turned and wrapped an arm around Anna's waist. With his other hand he gently touched her face, letting his fingers roll across her soft skin. Anna closed her eyes as he touched her, tears silently falling.

"I love you. I wish I could tell you how much, but that is impossible. But I promise you, I will protect you both, I won't let anything happen to my family," Kratos replied.

Anna had looked back at him with such trust and love in her eyes that it hurt Kratos to remember it now. It hurt him to remember the way Anna had tasted as he kissed her that day.

Kratos had broken his promise once. He had failed to protect what he held dear. He had let Anna die.

"I will not let you down this time," Kratos vowed.

He stared at the headstone, waiting for a response. Kratos sighed, knowing it was impossible for him to receive one. He closed his eyes, a single tear escaping his impenetrable armor.

"Goodbye . . . my angel," Kratos whispered tenderly. He moved forward and gently kissed the headstone before returning to his feet. With one last longing glance, Kratos walked back down the dirt path. The further he walked from Anna's grave, the more he felt his emotions slip away. With each step, the armor that had been momentarily shed quickly returned. He felt his whole body turn to stone as he put Anna's memory behind him and faced the task ahead. Kratos was gone, leaving the are around the peaceful grave silent, except for the faint rustling of the wind through the trees. The butterfly that had flown away delicately returned to it's perch. No sign was left to show that anyone had been present. Nothing, except an invisible kiss on the grave.

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_The End._


End file.
